A Circle of Three

LIving in the Moments....

The other day my daughter sent me an essay that was written by Anne Quindlen about being a Mom.  I had read it before and I think that I even blogged about it once before on my MySpace site.  Here is an excerpt from it ... the changes in blue are mine.

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing
this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that
the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the
three of them sitting at a playground in New Hampshire on a crisp Fall day...
ages 9,7 and 5. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and
what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they
slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next
thing: dinner, bath, book, prayers, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and
the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what
was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they
would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply
grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back
off and let them be. They also became who they were meant to be because we entrusted their lives to their Heavenly Father. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense,
matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I
wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more
than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told
me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts.
It just took me a while to figure out who the experts is... God is in control.

My best advice ... pray for them, pray for yourselves as you are going through the parenting years and pray with them.  Teach them the importance of "being on your knees."

A few blogs ago I wrote about how friends often ask me "how I do it?"  Some, I know think that I am crazy to be "giving up my life" to watch my grandson.  I feel that watching Markey is God's greater purpose for this season of my life.  Yes, there are lots of things that I could be doing... things that would generate additional income for us...etc; but would any of them be as rewarding? NO.  My husband and I would not be the people that we are today had we not had grandmothers willing to take care of us in our lives.

The other night after Jenny had sent me the essay by Anne Quindlen I sent her my response to it and this is what she sent me....

I hope that Blake and Marky love me as much as I love you when they are my age. I am thankful for you even though I don’t always say it. I was watching you yesterday w/ the boys and thinking how very lucky my boys are to have a great Gram. Thanks for all you do for them and us –

l

ove you,

me

Love... it is the most important ingredient!

You Are the Everlasting God

Today I picked my little grandson Markey up at his house as it was his big brother's first day of school.  Blake is now a third grader and was excited about returning to school.  Our granddaughter Emma is now a 4th grader; Robert Michael started indergarten today and Mason will start Kindergarten God willing on Wednesday.  Of course, because of the weather conditions as we are awaiting Tropical Storm Fay school for everyone has been cancelled tomorrow.

As I was driving home with Markey I had my Chris Tomlin CD in and was seeing along to Everlasting God... all of a sudden from the back seat I hear this sweet little voice singing: You are the Everlasting God, the Everlasting God..."  My eyes filled with tears and I thought how sweet that little voice must sound to Jesus.

A few weeks ago I attended a Beth Moore Live Event via satellite and as always I walk away blessed. The focus of the weekend was on studying the Word of God and applying it to our lives.  She talked aboout letting God's word have MAXIMUM IMPACT on our lives. 

Psalm 119: 10-11 "With all my hear I have sought You; Do not let me wander from your commandments. Your Word I have treasured in my heart; that I may not sin against You. "  When we teach these little ones words to song or teach them to memorize short verses from Scripture... we are enabling them to "hide" God's Word in their hearts. 

His mercies are new every morning... seek Him and spend some time with Him ... I promise you will be changed!

Knowing You Lord ....

What a wonderful weekend this has been.  As my sweet hubby just said: "you got to do everything that you wanted and needed to do this weekend."  On Saturday we spent the morning with my daughter, her hubby and her two boys.  Then, in the afternoon our oldest son, his wife and their son came over for a few hours.  We then went to dinner at one of our favorite seafood restaurants... yum, yum! 

Last night after dinner Bob and I went to JoAnn's so that I could get some patterns as they were on sale and of course... had to get just a little fabric!  We then sauntered over to the Bookstore to browse...it's one of our favorite things to do!  After that we came home and I sat and worked on one of my knitting projects... a sweater that has been in progress for awhile.

This morning we slept in and then while Bob mowed the lawn I cleaned up the house... caught up with laundry and then weeded the flower beds. With all of the rain that we have had...the weeds were as tall as the plants in some places. Then, I came in, showered and sewed for the rest of the afternoon.  I made a cute pair of flannel pajama pants for my 5 year old grandson and caught up with some P&B projects as well.

I also wrote a sermonette for the Friday night portion of the retreat that I will be doing at my son's church next month... and then tonight I listened to our church service online. I also spent time with the Lord and that is always the best part of my day.

“But this I know: I cannot live without Your presence. You are everything to me. You are worthy of my praise, Lord. Worth everything I have to do to adjust and alter my life to draw close to You. Giving up nearness to You is out of the question. Knowing You is what I live for. You are my love, my light, my salvation. I will do anything to make my way to You, and I will move anything that slows Your way to me. Teach me Your ways, O Lord. Clear the path. Arise, my God, and come to me.” (prayer taken from Psalms of the Ascent by Beth Moore).

I did the Psalms of Ascen Bible Study a few months ago and God has used it in my life in so many ways.  Tomorrow my siestas and I will begin a new study "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter.  I am anxious to see how God will use it in our lives.

These Things I Treasure

When I picked Markey up yesterday after not seeing him I thought about how fast he is really growing up.  As I sat watching Blue's Clues with him for a little while before we left his house I just was once again amazed at how much he has learned int he past two years.  He can count from 1--10; knows his ABC's; sings so many songs now, but this week his favorite has been "Happy Birthday to Me", can climb on lots of things; does puzzles; put together little towers using bolcks and the list just goes on and on.

What I most love though is his absolute sweetness!  We have little routines and watching him process things is just so much fun.  When he is getting sleepy and naptime is coming we get ready by getting some books and sitting on the sofa reading together.  He rests his little head on me as we read our story and I just love this part of our day.  This week his favorite story has been: "I Already Know I Love You by Billy Crystal.  It is a very sweet story by a grandfather talking to his unborn grandchild.

After story time... give kisses and "squeezes" and then go into his "room" for naptime.  He still sleeps in the pack and play at our house and that routine is always the same.  We go in and have to uncover 2 Mickey Mouses and Elmo who have been asleep for the past 24 hours on "Markey's pillow" and then Markey lays down and I cover him with his favorite blankie and I say "Night, Night" and give him another kiss.

When he wakes up he calls, "Dam" (yes, that is me, I used to be Gram) and I go to pick him up... we put all the friends on the pillow, cover them with his blankie and he says "night, night" and blows them a kiss. He usually wants to snuggle in the rocker for a few minutes while he wakes up and then it's play time once again.

I had someone ask me the other day "how do you do it?"  My answer is "how could I not do it?"  I look at this child and my heart truly melts... he is incredibly sweet and just an absolute love.  I love all of my grandchildren and would have done this for all of them had the opportunity afforded itself.  Along with their parents as grandparents we can make a difference.  And I get so much in return... I wouldn't miss the kisses, the hugs, the conversations, the ability to do puzzles at 10:30 in the morning, story hour at the library, even a trip to Target is no ordinary shopping trip.

This morning we were coming home in the car from breakfast at "Donald's" and he started singing "Jesus Loves Me" in the back seat... what sweet music to my ears.I thought of something that Beth Moore said at her conference this past weekend as she was talking about her own grandchild who is a little older than Markey... he has recently started singing "Jesus Loves Me" as well.  Beth said that Jesus Loves Me is a song that can carry us through our lives. Jesus Loves Me this I know for the Bible tells me so.

Think about that... He loves you when things in life aren't going so well; He loves you when your finances are tight; He loves you when you didn't get the job you wanted; He loves you when you didn't pass a test. I pray that Markey, Emma, Blake, Mason and Robert will always feel and know God's love and that I will always have arms to hold and a heart to hug them.

Back from Vacation....

We are back from a wonderful week at the beach.  Our son Ryan, his wife Susan and their two children Emma and Mason, our daughter Jen, her husband Mark and their two boys and Bob and I.  We arrived last Saturday and Bob and I came home on Saturday as we wanted to have a day to catch up.

We lived on the beach, rode in a surrey, played lots of games with the kids and jus enjoyed having time with our family.  I will post some pictures hopefully tomorrow.

What Gives You Value?

"Therefore if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new."  2 Corinthians 5:17

I read a devotional the other day that I would like to share as I believe it is something that many women struggle with... our identity.

Who are you?  What do you base your identity on?  How do you define yourself?  Often it is in three ways:

1) Our station in life... for me it is I am the wife of Bob, mother of Robert, Ryan and Jenny.. I am Gram to Emma, Blake, Mason, Robert and Mark.

2) our achievements... I am a Life Purpose Coach.  I am a Bible Study teacher.  I am a Children's Clothing designer.  I am a Photographer.

3)Past Experiences: I worked in Medicine for many years.  I was abused.

Again I ask the question.. what gives you value?

If we put our identity in our station of life or in our achievements, one day we will find ourselves bereft of those things.  Those things are transient.  I think of a woman I know who had been an Artist and now has Alzheimer's and can't remember how to hold a pencil.  Does she still have value? Absolutely.

Achievements do not define us.  I have a good friend who is an excellent teacher and gives 100% of herself all of the time.. but I know if her career ended tomorrow she would be fine because her career isn't what defines her.

Past experiences do not define us either, unless we allow them to. I was abused, but that is not who I am.  My dad was a brittle diabetic and lost two limbs from complications of the disease, but the disability did not define him.

God's Word tells us that in Christ we are new creations.  This means that we have new beginnings.  We can close the old suitcase and open up a new one.

Some of you are reading this saying, "yes, I know what the Bible says, but the voices in my head are telling me I have not changed...believe me, that is the voice of the one who is from the pit of hell.  You are a child of God, a daughter or son of the King of Kings. 

God loves you to much to leave you where you had been... accept His new beginning and walk in His grace.

Where Will Their Roots Be?

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19 As parents we are delighted with all of the milestones in our children's lives. Our youngest grandson, Markey turns two today and I watch him on a daily basis so I get to see lots of his development. We watched as he learned to crawl, cheered him on as he sat up and then took his first steps on wobbly legs. He sings the Alphabet song, knows countless words and is starting to put short sentences together. He can jump, throw a ball, climb, dance and run as fast as the wind now! As parents and grandparents we can't imagine not teaching our children for example, the alphabet. They would never be able to learn to read. We wouldn't think of not giving them lots of hugs and kisses because we want to have them become emotionally healthy children. So I guess, my question today is if these basic things are so important, then isn't it equally important to teach children about worshipping God and expect them to participate in worship while they're young? I sat and listened to a sermon online this morning the pastor talked about how our hope is in Christ and daily we need to remember all that He has done for us. Life will not be without disappointment or conflicts for any of us but we need to have the security of Christ and His promises to cling to. Conflicts remind us of our need for God. When things are going well we tend to put God on the"back burner", but when the chips are down God becomes real to many. Think back to 9-11 when churches overflowed the following week... people were in need of a Savior. God needs to be real everyday to us. He needs to be real to these little ones in our lives. He is our security. As parents we want to give our children the things that we never had and my generation, I believe really felt that need... but are we giving them what they really need? When dark days come and unfortunately, they will what will or children and our grandchildren be clinging to? The Bible tells us that things will tarnish and fade away, but the word of God stands firm forever. Many of you know that Steven Curtis Chapman and his family suffered a horrible tragedy a few months ago... their 5 year old daughter Maria was accidentally killed in their driveway by her young brother who didn't see her. SCC went back on tour this past weekend with his two boys and his opening song was Blessed Be Thy Name. Where would this family be if they couldn't cling to Jesus Blessed be Thy name, When the sun is shining down on me, When the world is all that it should be, Blessed be Thy name Blessed be Thy name, When the road is marked with suffering When there’s pain in the offering, Blessed be Thy name You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Thy name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be the name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be the glorious name. I pray that the words of this song will minister today to those who might need to feel God's tender mercies.

Tag You Are It!

A friend tagged me the other day and I thought it would be fun to post it on my blog to see how many people will respond. So here goes. You can only use 1 word to respond.

1. Where is your cell phone? counter

2. Your significant other? sweet

3. Your hair? graying

4. Your mother? elderly

5. Your father? died

6. Your favorite thing?creating

7. Your dream last night? none
8 Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? designing
10. The room you’re in? living
11. Your hobby? photography
12. Your fear? accident
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? closer
14. What you’re not? bored
15. Muffins? bluberry
16. One of your wish list items? Portugal
17. Where you grew up? New England
18. The last thing you did? drove
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Favorite gadget? ipod
21. Your pets? none
22. Your computer? HP
23. Your mood? contemplative
24. Missing someone? yes
25. Your car? garage
26. Something you’re not wearing? shoes
27. Favorite store? fabric
28. Like someone? lots
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? two

Singing the Song of Surrender

I was cleaning my table in my sewing room the other day... that is another story for another day... and came across this quote which I thought that I would share.  I am not sure who should get the credit for it, but it is definitely a reminder of the importance of surrendering.

"We must learn to sing the song of surrender.  It doesn't matter how we learn this song.  We may learn the song of surrender through a daily practice of prayer.  We may learn it through Bible study, corporate worship, or deep conversational prayers with God.  The important thing is that we have some practice in our lives the only goal of which is to enable us to surrender our agendas for life and open to an awareness deep in our beings that our only true desire is to know the reality of God's presence at the center of our being.

It is the song of surrender that leads us to fulfill our true human nature.  The song of surrender is the source of a life that is lived to the service of God rather than self.  It doesn't matter how we learn to sing this song.  It only matters that the practice of surrender becomes our first and most instinctive response to all of life.  To surrender is to "worship the Lord your God and serve only Him."

This quote certainly is in agreement with the Bible study that I am doing "No other Gods" by Kelly Minter. Our lives need to have Christ at the center and when He is at the center our lives are spent abiding in Him.  The beauty of that is when the waves come crashing... and they will come at some point in our lives... we know that He is abiding in us and can bring us safely through the storm.

Creating Pharaohs

The only thing worse than being under the control of somehing through no fault of our own in to be under the control of something we have actually created.  The Israelites in Exodus 1: 8-11 did nothing to deserve the torment that they received from Pharaoh.  This was not God's punishment. Their story is a picture of good people who went through tremendous suffering through no fault of their own.  Sometimes, however as Kelly reminds us in the book we set our own traps by creating our own gods. 

Isaiah 44: 1-20 shows a different example of how craftsmen used their good talents to create graven images.  I believe that this still happens today... think of the people who design the covers of magazines... ... for example I have a copy of First magazine in front of me.  The headlines on the cover: Drop 10 pounds in 3 days... 32 ways to look gorgeous no matter how hot it gets...Feel great every day... stress cures... and the list differs from magazine cover to magazine cover.

So many people buy into this... take for example myself... when I was obsessed with my body image I worked out excessively, bought every magazine that had the word diet on the cover, spent lots of money on fitness stuff... even memberships to the gym that I hardly ever went to ... you get the picture I definitely carried it to the extreme.

There is nothing wrong in trying to be physically fit... in itself it can be a good thing... it becomes a problem when it becomes the god we are serving.

Kelly Minter suggests making a list of your skills, talents, resources, passions, amd areas of expertise.  Then write about how each of these things can be used for the glory of God.  As you write make a mental list telling you where the things might be misdirected or unfocused.

Ask God to reveal to you an area in your life that you are using purely for your own gain and pray that He will be able to help you transform that energy, desire, or skill into something that can be used for His glory.

For many this will be a tough lesson... we have created our gods and it might be difficult for some to lay them aside.  If you are reading this and need someone to pray with you as you do this please leave me a comment.