So often in my life I just followed the path I felt everyone around me expected me to follow. I lived life frantically always trying to satisfy the voices that were telling me, "it isn't enough or you aren't enough." In listening to those perceived voices I missed out on moments I could have been listening to the voice of the One who created me and who designed me for so much more. He alone knows what is best for my life and what path I should follow.
I hated being hurt and I am sure others labeled me as overly sensitive or once someone told me "I was too intense." Always I lived my early years in self-protective mode. AcceptingJesus into my life has been a daily transformation...the Bible tells us when we put our faith in Jesus we are new creations and our old self is put away. There are days when I still put my "old self" on, but I know all I need to do is to repent and to place my trust back in the hands of the Lord.
The last couple of years have had some very painful journeys, but it has been a time to totally rest in God and hold onto His promises. It has been a test of patience, a test of my character, and always the vehicle that has brought me to my knees in prayer. I have learned a lot through this journey and it has torn down more of the wall I once had erected around my heart.
The pain has I feel helped me to see others who are hurting and in need of a friend, a note of encouragement and always a prayer on their behalf. This morning at BSF as I listened to others sharing their faith walk I was reminded God is not just seeking restoration He is always seeking transformation. He asks us to build bridges and not erect walls. He also at times closes doors that we do not need to walk through.
Living life with Jesus is being willing to live life with leaps of faith. Some of us are afraid to risk because we worry about failing. I think at some point in our lives we all have wrestled with failure. Was I a good enough student? Was I a good employee? Was I good enough Mom? Am I a good enough wife? Failure is often accompanied by shame. I am thankful Jesus does not look at our failures, He looks at our hearts and our heart motives.
My security is in the hands of the One who hung every star in its place...here on earth I may never be enough to anyone, but in His eyes I am enough as I grow daily to become more and more like Him. The world puts labels on us, Gods looks at our souls,
our intrinsic self designed by the Artist of the Universe.